Sunday, November 4, 2012

Communication

Every human is different, and of course, everyone has different ways of thinking, perspective, opinions, point of views, ideas and thoughts. People that are having different opinions/thoughts will not necessary fight against each other nor disrespect each other. Sharing thoughts/opinions is one of the way of communication. I don't think sharing own thoughts will bring harm to anyone if you are using the correct word and tone of voice when you express yourself. (it's the art of language~~)

Obeying whatever a person said, keep own thoughts/opinions to self and assuming others won't accept your thoughts/opinion is not a correct way of communication. It does not mean you are respecting the other person instead, you are actually avoiding the communication and creating more misunderstands; the other person might thought you agree with his perspective and opinions but the truth is, you are feeling annoyed and have own perspective about the issue discussed. The particular person might think that his ideas are very good but in your heart, you know the idea won't work. Why not speak out?

Why do people choose to keep it silent when they know something is not right? Why do people so afraid to share when they know they have better ideas in their mind? Is it very hard to tell what you feel, share what you have, speak what you want? Especially to the closest ones, the family members!?

A son and a father are having a conversation. Both of them are discussing about an issue but both of them have different opinions and ways/ideas to solve the problem. It is not wrong for the son to voice out his thoughts, it is not wrong for the father to stick on to his own ideas too, that's call point of view, everyone has it! Their volume of voice maybe high when they are sharing/telling on their own opinions but that's a way of communication, nothing is wrong about that. Others may think they are fighting but both of them are just sharing thoughts, no hard feelings, they are just expressing their point of view on the issue. It's a healthy conversation and there's definately nothing wrong with them. 

But, .. somehow... there's always a "but". There are always third party~ who likes to restrict this kind of communication... for "peace" sake I suppose?? Talking loud and raising voice during conversation does not mean the person is disrespectful to one and other, they might just excite to tell what's in their mind, they are just sharing thoughts. So, what's wrong with that? Why do the third party wanted to stop them from the conversation?? Just walk away if you don't want to hear their conversation, you have no rights to deprive their freedom to speak!

I meet many parents everyday, and I get to see many types of conversations and communications between the parents and their children. Do you know what is the worst communication between parents and children? From what I see, and I can tell you, the worst communication is where the children are not allowed to express their own thoughts and being forced to obey and accept every word from their parents no matter it's correct or wrong. That's the worst communication ever! That's no communication, that's instructions! That's command! This kind of communication will only create an individual with no subjective, low self-confident, afraid to self-express and anxious in making choices. Parents oh parents, if you want your children to have confident to themselves, please give them the chance to speak, please, do not restrict their freedom to speak, please do not ruin their future! Communication skill is very important to everyone's life. I mean VERY important.

Have you ever think whether you are having the correct communication? When you speak, are you giving opinions or giving instructions? When you are in a conversation, are you commanding or sharing ideas?

My point is, giving suggestions/ sharing opinions/ expressing self through speaking is NOT equivalent to disrespect. Keeping silent/ obeying 100% to one and other all times, does not mean the person is happy with what he/she agrees on. So... people, SPEAK OUT!!!!!!!!! TELL what you feel, SHARE what you have, SPEAK what you want!!!! Stop restricting yourself from expressing what you REALLY feel. Be honest to yourself!!

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